Quinton's Adoption Story

After adopting Mikey we were not sure when we wanted to adopt again.  We were saddened that we missed the first 3 years of Mikey’s life and not ready to be done with the baby stage.  After praying we felt certain that there was a baby who would need us.  In January 2016 we finalized all of our adoption paperwork and we felt drawn to consider a specific type of situation…one that we have always dismissed.  We informed that agency and then sat back and waited.  During the “waiting” phase Kristen gets restless, so she put a post on Facebook stating that we were hoping to adopt and hoping that people would share our post.

In February we had a family party to celebrate Mikey’s adoption.  We were sitting around talking when Michael’s dad told us that his brother Harry had seen our post on facebook and wanted to talk to us about a woman named Cassandra, whom he had met and was considering adoption for her baby.  We called him on the phone that very day and talked to him about the situation.  The situation was presented to us as very bleak, but we felt so abnormally calm about the whole thing.  Earlier that year we felt that our next baby would have a situation just like this.  We have heard so many adoption stories where the adoptive parents get a phone call and they just know that this is going to be their baby.  I have always been skeptical when I hear that, but then it happened to us.  We just felt like this was it…this is the baby we are to adopt.  We told Harry that we were very interested despite the information he had given us and that we would love to adopt this baby!  We told him to please help us get into contact with Cassandra.  After many tries Harry was not able to get in contact with her. 

We left for Disneyland that next week feeling defeated, confused and thinking that things were not going to move forward.  On our way back Harry called us and told us that he had finally been able to talk with Cassandra and that she wanted to communicate with us.  We were ecstatic!  I overnighted our adoption book to her so she could get to know us while we texted back and forth and talked over the phone.  She was hilarious and fun to talk to over the phone.  We also found out that the situation wasn’t as extreme as we were first told.  We were so grateful for those impressions we had earlier regarding our next adoption because without them, we never would have pursued this situation.  Cassandra told us that she was meeting with a few adoption agencies over the next few days.  We asked her to wait and give us a chance before she signed up with any of them.  After talking with us she told us via text that she wanted us to be the parents of her unborn child.  We had to reread the text a few times to make sure we got it right.  We were very excited, but still kinda in shock.  We picked an agency and got the ball rolling.  The next 6 weeks were very difficult and emotional as both birthmother and adoptive mother prepared for the arrival of that sweet baby.  This is always the hardest time for us as adoptive parents and we can’t even imagine what it must be like on the other end of things as a birthmom. 

Finally, on March 26^th Cassandra told us she thought the baby was coming today.  She called and texted Kristen.  Kristen started to freak out a little because Cassandra didn’t have a ride to the hospital.  Meanwhile Cassandra, fighting off labor pains, calmly told her to relax, that everything would be just fine…true story.  Yes, Cassandra is kinda amazing and chill like that! Cassandra always joked that she had done this so many times, that she would just deliver the baby herself…and we were starting to think she would have to.  We started checking flights and decided it would be faster to drive since there were no direct flights.  Meanwhile, the ambulance had come to take Cassandra to the hospital, which was 1 hour away, and Kristen was starting to feel a little better about things.

                

The drive to Nevada was long and agonizing, but it became even longer after Cassandra sent us a picture of her baby boy.  Cassandra and baby Quinton were doing well!  We got to our uncle’s house that night and decided that Kristen would be the only one to go to the hospital that night and Michael would stay with the kids and come in the morning. 

Kristen walked into that hospital to meet Cassandra and Quinton for the first time.  When Cassandra saw Kristen walk through the door she smiled really big and gave her a big hug, then she asked her if she wanted to hold Quinton.  Of course Kristen did and was so excited to finally meet Quinton.  We both laughed at how he had a cleft chin just like Michael.  “It was meant to be,” Cassandra said. We were just two mothers adoring their sweet baby. 

Cassandra had arranged for a room across from her own for Kristen to sleep in.  Cassandra kept telling her “I want you to act and feel as though he is already your baby.”  She was so amazing and so considerate.  That night neither one of us slept because Quinton started spitting up a lot and having respiratory distress.  Kristen promised Cassandra that she would stay with Q all night so that Cassandra could get some much needed rest.  In the morning the transport team was called and plans to transport Quinton to the Reno NICU were made.  Cassandra decided not to go to Reno and instead, go home to her other kids, while Michael and I were to drive the 3 hours to Reno.  It was emotional for all of us as Cassandra said her goodbyes to Quinton and hugged us before we left for Reno.  It was hard seeing this sweet momma with pain so raw.  We had grown to care for her.  We promised her that we would meet her back in Elko after Quinton was discharged from the hospital.

We arrived really late in Reno and checked into the hospital hotel and then took turns going to see Quinton throughout the night.  As a NICU nurse Kristen had always dreamed of being on the other side of things…of being the mom taking care of her NICU baby.  It was a little bit surreal.  Fortunately, Q was doing very well by the time we saw him.  He was already weaned to just a nasal cannula and his tremors had stopped completely.  The next few days we went between the NICU and the Ronald McDonald House where we were staying with the kids.  We continued to text and update Cassandra throughout the entire stay in the NICU.  The night that Cassandra was to sign the paperwork there was a huge snow storm, so everything had to be postponed for the next day.  It is always a little nerve wrecking during this time, but Cassandra was so sweet and kept texting us telling us that she had made the right decision and was so excited for us. 

The next morning around 10 we got word that all the paperwork was signed and we were now legally Quinton’s mom and dad.  More good news when Kristen talked to the Neonatologist and was told that Quinton would be discharged at 1:00pm that same day.  She didn’t tell Michael this so they would be surprised.  It was a blizzard outside so Kristen wrapped up her new tiny son and placed him in his carseat and walked the short distance to the Ronald McDonald house.  Everyone was sleeping so she waited downstairs in the living room for them all to wake up and come down….and it was certainly a surprise!  All the kids were so excited and took turns holding Q.  Michael got to look at him for the first time without all of his tubes and monitors.  The kids couldn’t get enough of him and 2 years later it is still that way!  Our sweet Quinton is very, very loved by both his families!  

Kellan's birthfamily lives near Reno.  We spent a few days with them waiting for ICPC to clear.  When we arrived with Quinton they had these shirts for us!  They are pretty awesome!

A few days later we met up with Cassandra and her son, so they could see Quinton.  They held Q and fussed over his cuteness while exchanging laughs with us! We were so grateful for the opportunity we had to meet up with them!   Cassandra will forever be a part of us.

Love, courage, faith and sacrifice are the means by which adoption is possible. There is nothing in this world like it!  Longing, and praying so long for a sweet baby, seeing the intense, deep love that their birthmother has for them and then seeing that same woman place their baby in your arms to raise as your own.  It is always about love.  The emotions for us as adoptive parents don’t fade with time; they get stronger as our love for our child grows and grows.  Even though we have done this 5 times now, it still takes our breathe away.  Adoption is beauty.